Chad and I found out a few days ago that we will not be adopting the baby boy we mentioned in our previous post. Although we are heartbroken, we know it is part of God's perfect plan!!! God is working in us in the midst of this storm! Please read on...

My friend, Lori, sent me a link on facebook to a woman's story of infertility & adoption. I was so moved by her story not because the Lord finally blessed her & her husband with a child, but of what happened while she was in the midst of the storm of a miscarriage. She was so hurt & so depressed and while she was going through that pain, she pictured the cross of Jesus and He asked her, "If the cross was all I ever did for you, isn't that enough?" That hit me like a ton of bricks, because in truth, it hasn't been enough for me. In shame I admit that! I want HIM to be enough for me! I've been waiting for Him to give us a child because I feel we deserve it because of all we've been through, but He went through the CROSS for me!!!!! I don't deserve anything except eternal separation from Him, and yet, in His love, He saved me!!!! The last two days have been two of the hardest in our lives, oh, but JOY has come this morning and His Name is Jesus!

Psalm 40 has been a chapter that I have clung to for years! It has brought me through the pain of watching so many get pregnant as we sat on the sidelines wondering why it couldn't happen for us. But in Psalm 40 I found refuge & strength to carry on. I have also run to Psalm 40 during our adoption journey, especially these past couple of days. So, it seems appropriate to end this post with some verses from Psalm 40. We are clinging to our God, our only Hope! We KNOW that God will bring us a child in His timing and in His way. But that is not where our hope lies. Our hope & our All is Jesus! AND HE IS ENOUGH!

Psalm 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
and He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
and out of the mud and mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,
and hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what He has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.